You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
