Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
