i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Bring me that man meat
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
