Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
