I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
