Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
