We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
