You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
