I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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