90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
