why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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