She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
