I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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