we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
