he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize