After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Barsexuality is the new black.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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