dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
