She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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