I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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