Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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