i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
