i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
