how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
