I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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