Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
