i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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