it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The police scanner is talking about you again....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
