i think my tv is drunk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
