Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
