we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think I sprained my soul last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize