I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
