the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
