Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
