We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That accounts for only three of the penises
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
