No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
