you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
