you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
