how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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