I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I love black thongs
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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