I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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