I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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