ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
