Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
