he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
