Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
