It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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