These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
