i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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