So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
