I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
