Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
