yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
