I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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