we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
