I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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