Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
